” THAT’s ….LIFE ….!
Manisha Gir :Writer, Mumbai,19th. August, 2023. Relationships these days have taken a different connotation.
Marriages as such has taken a varied flavour than what it used to be in the Times of our parents and Grandparents.
Of course the shift in the balance is due to the financial independence of the woman. ..but is that all?
Take the example of young girl Kaya .. who is disillusioned about the institution of marriage watching the multiple relationship failures all around her.
Out of the few couples she has witnessed we will discuss here about her Uncle Rohit and wife Neha.
They were madly in love when courting …were termed as the ‘ made for each other’ couple…suddenly became unmade after seven years of marriage and a four old son Monu Once …a very compatible couple, who could not lose sight of e…
A peculiar pattern was manifesting itself. What all qualities they had admired in each other previously …the very qualities had started irking them now.
Rohit had admired pretty Neha’s ultramodern, smart, intelligent, ambitious outgoing persona….and she was taken up with his super intellectual sardonic sense of humour and drive.
But …. that was in the past.
In the present scenario …both working professionals found fault with the same as qualities…criticising, humiliating and demeaning each other with the battle- cry ..’ You have changed’!
Rohit now disapproved her short dresses and taunted her gregarious nature as flaunting herself and flirtatious.
Neha retorted that he was jealous and insecure and does he expect her in a burkha!
They would argue on gender- equality as earlier they had agreed on sharing household chores but Neha couldn’t spare time from her job pressures and Rohit resented the unkempt house and shortage of provisions.
Both returning late from work would resort to blame- games…making Rohit sleep in the guest room in a rage .What effect it was having on the kid left with the maid…nobody bothered .
Kaya would wonder if separate bedrooms was the end result of a prior heavenly union then…she rather not have any of it.
But one has to look deeper to find the root cause of the friction. They did love each other previously…so where has the love gone? Why .. what happened to make them so bitter?
One understands both were in high pressure jobs ..but so are many. To maintain the spirit of the marriage one needs a bit of sacrifice, adjustments and ‘ giving ‘.
One has to find a balance and practise time- management. The criticisms and arguments are due to the shift in priorities and a way to vent out their grudges and actually…not the real issue.
If only Neha had managed to devote some time to the household and Rohit took out a little time for her to talk and sort out their differences …the apple- cart wouldn’t have rocked.
Keeping the Communication ON is the need of the hour and the Mantra!
Next…we will discuss the issues of yet another couple